Growing Up

 It used to be that parents deposited their children at their university halls with a cookbook, a duvet, and a plea to occasionally call home.

[It used to be that 18 year olds left home by themselves and managed to find their new accommodation at college or university without anyone's help. With a cookbook and a duvet? Surely not.]

Mother and Child
Jankel Adler (1895-1949)
Photo Credit: Ben Uri Collection [CC BY-NC-ND]

Now, it seems, some expect to remain intimately involved in their children's lives even after they have flown the nest, and are turning to WhatsApp and Facebook groups to keep tabs on their escapades.

[Keeping tabs on their escapades? Doesn't this seem a little weird?]

"Is it normal for your kids to be out till 1am even though it's a Monday?" One parent asked on a Facebook group for parents of students at Glasgow University.

[No it's not normal. On Mondays 4 or 5am is normal. It might be later on Tuesday.]

"Once the learning starts will they be able to sleep if they want to?"...

[Yes, of course. As long as they don't snore and disturb the lecturer.]

From their son or daughter's  accommodation to washing facilities, from friendship problems to sex lives, no subject seems to be off-limits for students' parents.

[I hope that includes the optimum number of times you can blow your nose in a day]

Other anxious comments found in  messaging groups for university parents include: "Are their rooms warm enough over the winter?"

[Normally, yes. But it does depend on how many people are sleeping in the same bed.]

"Do buses go past the accommodation?"

[Yes they do go past but they rarely stop. Students being students and all that.]

Would it be possible for a parent to stay overnight after move-in to assist with unpacking and setting up the room?...

[Overnight? Can't you make it a week?]

By trying to be helpful, parents could be hindering their child's development. Friction and problems are part of life - a parent diving in publicly with their concerns doesn't encourage independence,

[What kind of nonsense is this?]

(Aisling Flaherty, The Observer, 2026)