Dentures, Sock Nonsense, Malapropism, Stressful Holidays

                                          

Letters

The Dentist, David Teniers 11, (1610-1690) 
Photo Credit: Manchester Art Gallery 
[CC BY-NC-ND]

A dentist friend tells of a patient who came in to be fitted with a full set of dentures. There had been a long delay due to problems in the technicians’ workshop. He apologised to the patient for the delay and hoped he had not been too inconvenienced.

“Not at all – I’ve been using these,” said the patient, producing a full set of dentures made from Lego bricks and Plastic Padding. They even contained two or three windows.

(William Graham Fardon, The Guardian, 2019)


                                                                                                                     
 Socks
      (The Guardian, 2019)

Mrs Mead, Darning Socks, Rose Mead (1867 - 1946)

Photo Credit: St Edmunsbury Museums,

[CC BY-NC-ND] 

… Socks are now an important part of your outfit at the least, the making of an outfit at most.

… In fashion, statement socks have been big for a few years. In 2017, they became “the most loaded accessory of the year”, according to the GQ columnist Justin Myers. Prada played with pulling socks up to men’s knees and socks have become a more affordable way for fashion fans to buy into their favourite designer labels.

If none of this is ringing any bells, then it might mean it’s time to reassess your sock game.

What kind of socks should I be wearing now?

Unpaired socks. Different length, colour and fabric will add a bit of edge to a basic outfit and make you look sartorially elegant.

Is it ever OK to wear socks with sandals?

Yes, no problem but make sure that the colour of the socks contrasts sharply with                                              the colour of the sandal.

Should I wear my socks pulled up?

Yes, but only if you are wearing the socks inside out and they are held up by means of black, no other colour, suspenders.

Are white socks acceptable?

Yes and No. Yes, when wearing a suit. No, when playing sport.

Where is a fiver best spent on socks?

Look those days are long gone. Falke sells a very reasonable pair of socks at the bargain-basement price of £640 or Harry’s of London is just a tad more expensive at £1,235.10 a pair. Buy online and they knock off the 10 pence.

What material should socks be made from?

Recycled socks.

Who should I be looking to for sock-wearing inspiration?

Three characters stand out in the sock-wearing inspiration game.

Chaussette, Bless Yorcotn and Kosc Init.

Are trainer socks still a good idea?

Exposing an ankle is still considered rather risqué for a man. Better safe than sorry.

Can you buy socks as a present?

As long as you’ve tried them on beforehand. Novelty socks with slogans on their soles work best, like: “If you can read this” on the right foot and “Bring me a beer” on the left.


Letters

Sir, During his trial my client informed the jury that his relationship with the complainant was “strictly plutonic”. He was convicted.

(Paul Hogben, 6 Pump Court, Temple, The Times,2019)

Sir, My late mother used to complain about my father-in-law’s erotic driving and her father-in- law’s double incompetence.

(Stanley Klarfeld, Bushey Heath, Herts, The Times,2019)

Sir, Years ago I was a magistrate and was listening to a defendant in the dock explaining why he couldn’t pay his fine because of his uncertain income. “It flatulates,” he said.

(Mrs A Thomas, Hill Ridware, Staffs, The Times,2019)

Sir, My mother-in-law suggested that to keep our streets safe the community should recruit village aunties.

(Andrew Lean, London SW9, The Times, 2019)




The Tech you need to pack

Our Holiday, Charles James Lewis (1830-1892) Photo Credit: Gallery Oldham, [CC BY-NC-ND]

… But holidays no longer mean leaving all your worldly possessions behind. Your phone, tablet, e-reader and headphones come along for the ride, which means you need to keep them charged and connected. Here’s how to take the stress out of your digital life.

Chargers

You don’t need to lug your bulky original charger with your phone, tablet or laptop. A range of great third-party chargers using new gallium nitride components are smaller and more powerful, able to take care of almost anything with USB. Here are some of the best.

Anker Atom PD1 - £40

Mu One International - £60

Multichargers

PowerPort - £30 or Aukey’s 60W USB-C – £50

Battery Packs

Anker Powercore -£103

Pocket chargers

£13

Multi-head cables

£12

Phone mounts

£22

Cable organisers

£15

(The Guardian, 2019)

Have you any money left to go on this holiday? And haven’t you’ve forgotten the cost of your Sherpa?

*Why are people taking all their tech stuff on holiday? Can I suggest people go on a real holiday, leaving all that stuff behind? Your list came to more than £200, enough for at least a couple of drinks every day.

(David Read, London, The Guardian, 2019)