Curated Butter

 The forthcoming opening of The Pembroke in Belgravia - a "super" members' club - has caused panic in the well-appointed rooms of Mayfair's traditional, exclusive watering holes.

Backed by foreign investors, believed to be Omani, the club has embarked on a hiring spree and is even rumoured to have so disrupted the London wine market that there is a shortage of high-end plonk across the capital.

But another front has opened in the battle to become London's most exclusive members' club: butter.

Still Life of Bread, Butter and Cheese
George Smith (1714-1776)
Photo Credit: Yale Centre for British Art. [Public Domain]

The Pembroke this month took out a half-page advertisement in Country Life for a "butter sommelier" whose role will be to "curate our butter assortment and assist in training staff using our silver butter trolley".

The individual will be required to possess a "deep love for, and understanding of, butter.

In addition to a butter sommelier, the club is looking for a "sports tzar", who will ensure that the nine screens in the club's billiards room are tuned to the appropriate sporting events, and a "charismatic person willing to work late" to serve as a club matchmaker.

A source at The Pembroke confirmed that all the positions were paid but declined to be drawn on the salary range.

"It may sound indulgent, but it's really a sign of the times. There's a sommelier for wine, a barista for coffee, so why not butter? Expectations have shifted. We're living in an age of hyper-specialisation.

"Members don't just want good; they want considered, curated and expertly delivered. If we're asking members to trust us with their time, we think that level of detail matters," the source said

Butter is not the only product to get the full sommelier treatment. Last year the capital's first olive oil bar opened, with on-site experts. Guests at La Popote in Cheshire are guided towards the appropriate water for their meal by a "water sommelier".

(Andy Silvester, The Times,2026)

An article which highlights the disparity between the lives of ordinary people in the UK and the elite. Members' clubs, Mayfair, Belgravia are alien concepts to the majority. London itself is often portrayed as an important emblem of the UK whereas it holds no interest to many people.

The average weekly circulation of Country Life is just over 37,000 - a figure highlighting the exclusive nature of its readership.

Good to learn that we are living in an age of "hyper-specialisation" and that people's expectations have shifted. Must make a visit to the butter sommelier and hope that my pub will soon have a sports tzar who will guide me in what I should watch as I'm drinking my "appropriate water" with my fish and chips garnished, of course, with the right sort of olive oil. And oh yes, how about a matchmaker at the pub too.