Sorry!

 Sorry seems to be the hardest word, sang Elton John - but not for British people it appears, for whom it has 15 different uses (and only one of them expressing true regret).

Linguists have analysed the context in which we say sorry and identified multiple meanings. They say it often causes confusion for foreign people moving to the UK, who take it as a literal apology rather than decoding what is truly being expressed.

Frances Abington
Joshua Reynolds (1723-1792)
Photo Credit: Yale Centre for British Art [Public Domain]

Karen Grainger, a lecturer in linguistics at Sheffield Hallam University, says the word has become a reflex to be polite, soften disagreement, ease awkwardness and navigate social norms...

The truly regretful meaning comes with someone being genuinely sorry to hear someone else's bad news and means they care what that person is going through.

However, "sorry" can also be used in a passive aggressive way: "I'm sorry if I offended you", or "I'm sorry you feel that way" - meaning "I don't think I did anything wrong".

It is, of course, expected that both parties say sorry when accidentally bumping into each other, no matter who is at fault.

"Sorry" can also be used when someone is in your way, to mean: "please move"; as a way of politely challenging someone: "sorry but I don't agree"; and as a key component of enforcing the rules: "sorry but you can't do that in here".

For those hard of hearing, or convinced that other people mumble, "sorry" is frequently used to mean "pardon?"...

Rather more forcefully, "I'm sorry!" can be used to express disbelief or outrage, to mean "I can't believe my ears".

Matthew Pettersson, from Sweden who lives in the UK , said: "When I first started spending time with my British partner, I was struck by how often she said 'sorry'. At first I thought  I had done something wrong. She'd say sorry when we passed each other in the hallway, when she handed me something, even mid-sneeze. Now, even with our two-year-old daughter and other Brits I met, I realised 'sorry' can mean anything from 'excuse me' to 'after you' to 'I exist and I hope that's OK.

"At first, I didn't know how to respond - should I apologise back? Say thank you? It was confusing but also fascinating: a tiny word carrying a thousand meanings. It felt like there were secret rules I hadn't learned yet. Over time I've learnt to love it. It feels less like an odd habit and more like a quiet sign of thoughtfulness and consideration...

(Nicola Woolcock, The Times, 2025)

Here's a few more. 

"Sorry, but I don't agree. (I'm about to politely challenge you, and I know that's mildly awkward.)

"Sorry, no" or "Sorry, I can't". (No, but in the nicest way possible.)

"Sorry, can I just..." (when interrupting someone) (" I know I'm interrupting, but I'm trying not to be rude about it.)

"Sorry, I'm a bit busy right now" (Please leave me alone - but I want to stay on good terms.)

"Sorry, I shouldn't say this but..." (I know this might offend you, but I'm saying it anyway.)