Mollycoddling Young Adults

 Not long ago - in 1960, say, when the average man married at 22 and the average woman at 20 - many 25-year olds were homeowners and parents, almost a decade out of full-time education...

Thanks to the housing crisis, competition for graduate jobs and student loan debt, increasing numbers of young people are stranded in their family homes, condemned to pass their twenties in a state of childlike dependency. Coddling parents and digital technology exacerbate the problem. In the optimistic jargon of academia, this new phase of life is "emerging adulthood". We should deplore it for what it really is : the infantilisation of young adults...

This infantilising instinct is especially unhelpful because as the psychologist Jean Twenge has observed, the lifestyle of many adults in their twenties increasingly resemble those of children. Concerning numbers of people my age continue to watch Disney films and profess loyalty to a Harry Potter house. Children's brands are adapting themselves for adult consumers: you can have a Disney wedding and attend an "adult-only dinner" at the Harry Potter experience in London. In defence of that ghastly-sounding event, a society that infantilises its young adults as remorsefully as ours should not be surprised when many of them behave as if they are still children...

But also, I think, in an ageing society, young people seem ever-more suspiciously immature compared with the average. In 1800, when the median age of the population was about 23, a 25 year-old would have seemed relatively old. Not so now, the median age is more than 40...

William Pitt the Younger
George Romney (1734-1802)
Photo Credit:  Tate

We forget how young British society once was. Our youngest prime minister, William Pitt, was 24 when he ascended to office - remarkable then but unthinkable now. To read about 20th century culture is to be astonished at how young all the protagonists were. Not just the pop stars: Brian Epstein signed the Beatles when he was 27. Phil Spector produced his first number one hit when he was 22. Orson Wells directed Citizen Kane at 25. Alfred Hitchcock shot his first picture, The Pleasure Garden, when he was 25. Steven Spielberg was 26 when he made Jaws. All prodigies, of course. But modern society makes such precocity unachievable. No modern executive would trust a 25-year old with a blockbuster budget...

For the first time in its history Silicon Valley has no fresh-out-of-college startup geniuses a la Mark Zuckerberg, who founded Facebook two decades ago  at the age of 19...

Partly these trends reflect an ageing population. They also reflect a patronising disbelief in the capacity of young adults. Mostly, our ageing society's protectiveness towards its young is well meant. But it is dangerous too. Anybody familiar with the history of science and technology knows how many breakthroughs we owe to the intellectual white heat of youth. A dynamic culture requires the full contributions of its youngest members. We must be very careful about extending childhood's suffocating remit.

(James Marriott, The Times, 2024)

Surely one of the purposes of education is to promote the idea of blossoming independence for the child from its parents. This will be a very gradual affair but by the age of 18 many should be ready to "fly the nest". Unfortunately, the economic reality for many, both in the East and the West, make this unachievable. Politicians need to grasp this nettle. Marriott makes some very pertinent points indeed. 

Sir, James Marriott is right that young people under the age of 25 are being increasingly infantilised. However, this is not due to a "patronising disbelief" in their capacity by an "ageing population", it is because young people's capacity to handle the rigours of the  world has been progressively diminished by spending too long in a digital echo chamber, where gratification is instant and opposition silenced by algorithm. Only by interacting with people away from social media can today's teenagers be properly challenged. This will help them to build the resilience they need to thrive as adults. In short, away from smartphones, they grow up. The government's proposals to increase limits on smartphone usage for teenagers cannot come soon enough.

(Ben Horan, Headmaster, Prior Park College, Bath, The Times, 2024)

Sir, James Marriott's piece is nicely encapsulated by a phrase I have been using for a while when discussing the lifestyles of our (and friends') teenage children: "Twenty-five is the new 18."

(Richard Moody, Redmile, Leics, The Times, 2024)