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The British Way of Avoiding Awkwardness

  Mrs Raynes's Tea Party Henry Tonks (1862-1937) Photo Credit: Aberdeen Art Gallery and Museums [Public Domain] Society feels instinctively that manners are more important than morals, Oscar Wilde wrote, and tortuous politeness that masks true meaning can even be read in Beowulf. Centuries later, British conversations are regularly strewn with polite phrases that try to conceal seething resentment or avoid awkwardness, research shows. These include " Sounds fun, I'll let you know " (translation: "I've no intention of coming."), and "I'm sure it's just me" (translation: "This is entirely your fault but I'm trying to soften the blow"). Almost half of people told researchers that they uttered such phrases, which were used about 14 times a day. Trinity College London questioned 2,000 adults to create a list of the British phrases most regularly to avoid disagreements or social discomfort. "Could I just squeeze past you?...

Compassion or Oversensitivity?

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The Sick Child Edvard Munch (1863-1944) Photo Credit: Tate [CC BY-NC-ND]  ...  We have lost sight of the wisdom that a bit of suffering, stress and criticism is part of the human condition and doesn't require intervention by the police, the state or anything else beyond our own inner resilience... A decade ago a psychologist called Nick Haslam noticed a curious shift in the meaning of words. Trauma, for example, was once applied to physical injury (like blunt force trauma), but usage gradually extended to encompass being belittled verbally, or merely hearing about the trauma suffered by others. Over time, an ever wider and milder range of experiences were coded as traumatic. The same was for bullying. Once used to denote a big kid hitting a little kid in the playground, its meaning was extended to verbal aggression in the workplace, and then minor interactions in which harm was not even perceived by the putative victim. In a way, you might think, so what? Many words change the...

Tribalism

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  Truth presenting a Mirror  to the Vanities of the World Northern European School Photo Credit: Ashmolean Museum Oxford [CC BY-NC-ND]  ... When you place loyalty to party, to leader, above all other considerations - for jobs, policy positions and execution - you will inevitably degrade the quality of the outcome. Tribalism eradicates accountability. If all that matters is that you say and do the right thing by your party and its boss, you can literally get away with anything. It is now the dominant organising principle of American politics as well as the media. It causes senators to forsake their roles as part of a co-equal branch of government. It causes members of Congress to abandon their responsibility to scrutinise the actions of an executive branch. It causes the media to forgo their role as public watchdogs and become instead cheerleaders. The same tribalism led political and media loyalists of Joe Biden to engage in a four-year act of political deceit, the preten...

Something Rotten in the State of Denmark

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  Svendborg Harbour, Denmark 1934 Martin Bloch (1883-1954) Photo Credit: Ben Uri Collection [CC BY-NC-ND] The trap was laid in a rented office... For six months, beginning in mid-2022, a parade of people - members of motorcycle gangs, entrepreneurs, lawyers, real-estate barons, politicians, - trooped through to recount their sins to Amira Smajic. They didn't come for expiation. They knew Smajic to be one of them - an outlaw, and in her particular case, a business lawyer so skilled at laundering money that she'd enabled a couple of billion kroner in financial crime over the previous decade. They called her the Ice Queen, because she showed not a flicker of regret for what she did. In her office, Smajic's visitors bragged about dodging tax, bribing officials or exploiting the bankruptcy code. She offered them coffee and coaxed forth their confidences. Six cameras and three microphones, secreted in power sockets captured it all - footage that was turned into a documentary call...

Mind your Manners

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  Incessant demands for consumer feedback  are the newest plague on our inboxes...Tripadvisor is still badgering me to review a restaurant I didn't actually attend, after looking it up last month; my new exercise mat came with a questionnaire; and when I bought a splurge item through a luxury fashion marketplace, I was invited separately to review the web portal, the individual brand, and the delivery company, each in turn. It's enough to drive one back to shopping in person, with cash - anything that doesn't require an email address. So I was initially enthused to hear about Dorian, the Notting Hill [London] restaurant that is tearing up the rulebook on customer feedback... Any complaints left on Google or Tripadvisor will be roundly ignored; any customer who even mutters about leaving a review will be ejected on the spot. They certainly won't be emailing you to ask if there's room for improvement. A Group of Cats Dressed as Gentry Dining in a restaurant unknown ar...

Chinese Food in the UK

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  A Chinese Sage is Offered Food in a Garden unknown artist Photo Credit: Wellcome Collection [Public Domain] Growing up in a Chinese takeaway, I saw first-hand how Britain's  relationship with Chinese food was changing. My parents' business, Lucky Star, in Beddau, in the south Wales valleys, was more than just a place to grab a meal - it was the heart of our community and the backdrop to my childhood. From the 1960s to the 1990s, Cantonese cuisine from southern China - particularly Guangdong province, Guangzhou and Hong Kong  - held a special place in the hearts and stomachs of Brits. A new cuisine evolved: sweet and sour chicken, egg fried rice and chow mein.  But this classic Chinese takeaway is in sharp decline...  So are the British really falling out of love with Chinese food? One factor behind the decline is more choice. Where the high street was once dominated by fish and chips, Chinese and Indian options, now we have Thai, Vietnamese and Korean too. We'...

The Age of Overdiagnosis

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  You don't need to be a doctor to have noticed that certain medical diagnoses that used to be rare now appear common. Anecdotally at least, it feels like everyone either has ADHD  or knows someone who does. Neurodivergence was one of the buzz words of 2024 and mood disorders such as depression and bipolar have skyrocketed. The data backs this up. ADHD diagnoses doubled for boys and trebled for for girls  between 2000 and 2018. In the 1940s, autism was thought to affect one in 2,500 children, while today one in 100 has been diagnosed. Chronic conditions with no strict diagnostic criteria, such as chronic Lyme disease and long Covid, have also become a part of daily life... We are living in an "age of overdiagnosis," O'Sullivan says [Suzanne Sullivan is a consultant neurologist in the NHS] "We're turning people into patients, medicalising their lives and causing undue anxiety with no benefit." The Sick Child Edvard Munch (1863-1944) Photo Credit: Tate [CC...