The Critical Commentator

  The term "hen do" is inadequate to the grandiose, interstellar ambition of Lauren Sanchez's prenuptial  celebrations. Having whirled across the stratosphere in one of her husband-to-be's Blue Origin spacecraft, Jeff Bezos's intended spent last weekend in Paris in the company of  Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry and other members of the 21st century's gilded entertainment overclass. Once upon a time, this ghastly event might at least have been dignified with an aura of secrecy. This being 2025, it was widely publicised by all the attendees. Sanchez - pneumatic, cat-eyed, apparently upholstered - has posted picture after picture of herself on Instagram, grimacing glassily from various deluxe restaurants, spas and river cruises. Mammon Elinor Proby Adams (1885-1945) Photo Credit: UCL Culture [CC  BY-NC-SA] The public response to this ostentation has been gratifyingly hostile. "Gluttonous" is an adjective that has featured prominently in the newspaper covera...

 I find it a little strange that there is so much angst and debate in this country about assisted dying (AD) when opinion polls consistently show an overwhelming majority of people in favour of it and there is little, if any, evidence of it leading to significant abuse or moral harm in the many countries where it is allowed, in some places for decades. Medicine is about prolonging life and giving health, but it is also about the relief of suffering. The law in the UK already allows us to refuse treatment, even if this will result in our death. Furthermore, suicide is not against the law, so you need convincing arguments to explain why it should be illegal to help somebody do something that is not illegal. The law at present - absurdly - makes no distinction between encouraging suicide and assisting it when it is a considered and reasonable request in the face of great suffering. Death the Comforter William Strang (1859-1921) Photo Credit: University of St Andrews [CC BY-NC] The mai...

  The Wine Seller unknown artist Photo Credit: Southend Museums [CC  BY-NC-SA] There was news last week from Paris of a city-wide scam that would have been perfect for a show that celebrated the art of ripping off the dim and the gullible. It seems that when you order an expensive bottle of wine in many Parisian cafes and restaurants, what you actually get is plonk. And no one is noticing. Of course they aren't. Every golfing-type man over 30 believes he can tell a Petrus from a beaujolais nouveau, and unless he's a trained sommelier, or French, he can't. I loathe the pomposity of this, and so did my father. In posh restaurants, to expose the nonsense of tasting wine, he used to take off his jacket and his cufflinks, roll up his sleeve and dip his elbow in the wine before declaring loudly: "Mmmmm. That's delicious." This genetic hatred of wine snobs is why I find myself smiling at the mental image I have of some pompous British estate agent sitting in a paveme...

  Recently I found myself at dinner with m'learned colleague Giles Coren... we were dining at one of London's fanciest new restaurants. Each dish was pristine, caviar-ridden. Nobody was escaping for less than £250 a head. And yet something felt off. I couldn't put my finger on it. Then Giles leant across the table. "Have you noticed everyone here is on their phones?" He was right. Entirely right. Next to us, two businessmen hadn't looked up from their emails once. Next to them, a family with two teenagers in baseball caps, ignoring their food and instead gorging lasciviously on TikTok slop. Most tragically, on the other side of the restaurant, but drawing our eyes like a traffic accident or a marital  shouting match in a supermarket, a young couple on a date, both looking lovingly into their phones... Midday Mea l Johannes Weiland (1856-1909) Photo Credit: Bury Art Museum [CC  BY-NC-ND] The whole thing left me feeling utterly miserable... Is this what humanity...

  "You want to cut off my eyelashes?" "Absolutely sir, it's very much the fashion... Did you not read in Thursday's Times about a Turkish barber called Ferhat Ceylan... who trimmed a customer's lashes, posted it on social media, went viral, and now there are tens of millions of people watching him at work every day. He still does the short back and sides, it says in The Times, but, and I quote, sir "shaving eyelashes is all the rage.".." "Eyelashes are a strong binary," our reporter is told by Meredith Jones, honorary  professor of gender studies at Brunel University, the blue-haired Isaiah Berlin of modern identity woo-woo. "There is currently a fashion for one sex to have eyelashes that are outrageously long, thick and black. These are seen as an indicator of high femininity and therefore the opposite has to be true for the opposite gender." Madame de Pompadour Francois Boucher (1703-1770) Photo Credit: The Wallace Collect...

  Woman with Cylindrical Body unknown artist Photo Credit: National Museums Scotland [CC BY-NC-ND]  A couple of years ago, I became obsessed with changing my body. Inspired by "gymfluencers" and an Instagram feed filled with workouts and progress journeys, I dug into gym culture, often spending two hours weightlifting in one day, consuming more than 100 g of protein daily to build a "revenge booty"... As I became obsessed with the gym, I noticed that the things pushing me away from the pub and towards exercise were not positive thoughts but fears - self-esteem issues, financial worries and an anxious desire to be maximising my time. I also suspect that this rush to the gym is partly driven by social media. It's hard to tell the difference between an obsession with health and an obsession with physical appearance, and we know the latter particularly affects the children raised on a diet of online fitness influencers. Fifteen years ago, only celebrities had unachi...